new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
