Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
