I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
