paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
