ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
