Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
