She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
