I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
