i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
