he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
