her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
