If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
