You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
