I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
