I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
