I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In other news, I just burned my penis
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
