Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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