Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just high enough for therapy.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
