when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
