dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
