did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
