3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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