My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
