Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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