did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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