nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
