my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
His nipple licking is glorious
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