My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
