You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
