I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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