I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish i was in the wii world.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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