I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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