the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
