I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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