saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
