those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
