That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
