so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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