I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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