I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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