You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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