I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
