I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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