I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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