I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I didn't notice because vodka
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
