One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
