just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
