he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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