All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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