I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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